There is no place like home. Dorothy said it. I believe it. If I could of closed my eyes and clicked my red flip flops together and uttered the famous words "There's no place like home" I would have. I couldn't. Since I was driving! Closing my eyes would of landed me somewhere but not home. We had a great vacation. It wasn't that. What could be better than the beach, good music, good food, drink and great friends. We ate, we danced, we shopped and we laughed. I caught my thoughts often..."I am so blessed." A wonderful husband, really my best friend...Denise is a very, very close second,( Actually I can even tell her more than I would ever tell Pat, but you get the idea) that I love being with. Pat has changed my whole life, he makes up for the whole messy past. I use to hear that love makes you grow into the person you truly are...I know now that is so true. I know me and at 51 years old, I like me. Anyway, back to getting home...I missed my dog, Angel. She is a comfort to me. I love to nestled my face in her fur. I love the way she sighs when she gets all comfortable cuddled up to me. She is the very best. I missed my girl, Cassidy. Her smiles, that look she makes, hearing her say "My Nana" and her little hand in mine. It's funny but when I am away I miss routine. Maybe because I am very tasky (is that even a word?) kind of a girl.Even for a day or two I feel such a peace as I get back to cleaning, washing, cooking, shopping, back to work....notice I did said for a day or two.
How come we don't appreciate what we have until it is gone? Till the bad news comes or when someone or something is no longer ours. Sometimes I get mad at God and I decide that I'm just not going to talk to Him anymore and a little time passes and I actually miss talking to Him. It's like empty air. Vast. It's lonely.
I haven't written on this blog since last October. A long time. I miss it. I have thoughts that I want to write down. It's like a coming home within my self. Where I am one within myself. You would only understand if you have been there. I am grounded, at peace.
So I am grateful for today. For being home. Pat just called to say "Hi", my dog is at my feet and I have had this moment. Thank you, God. I think I'll call Cassidy. She will say " I 'm talking to my Nana and then her famous words "Is Papa home?" Routine, yes, priceless, yes.

PS. I just looked up tasky--not a real word--it is a Bevie word.
Peace and love...Bevie

OOP's

Just got a call from my son, seems that Cassidy is ripping up her waffle and throwing it up in the air. Image that. Seems she really thinks its funny. I can hear it coming. Her dad tells me she is doing that gut laughing. OOP's. "I didn't do it with food".....I explained. "We just ripped up the Sunday ad's and threw up the little tiny pieces of paper in the air. It was like confetti. Yes, we laughed. In fact, I have the pictures to prove it. OOP's again, wrong thing to say...but, Chris, you should of heard her laugh. Papa, came running with the camera. She laughed so hard she was bending over and of course that made Papa and me laugh all the more. Okay, it did encourage her but it was with paper not food". "Mom, paper---waffle, it's all the same to her and by the way you didn't think it was so funny when I messed up the house". Oh, Oh. He got me there. I tried to explain..."times are different now. I know that messes can be cleaned up. Wiped away. Forgotten. Memories like this can't be". Seeing my granddaugher so happy will be forever etched in my memory and the pictures will be in her scrapbook. I want her to know about these times. To see herself as Papa and I see her. She is our funny little Miss Sunshine.
I will have to remind her though of the sign we have in our kitchen:"What happens at Nana and Papa's stays at Nana and Papa's".
I just wonder how I am going to top this one!

The second half

If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything. This saying spins around in my head a few times a day. It started as I approached this year birthday. Wow, 51 years old. I feel like I am on the other side of life. You know like the first half of the football game and this half you better give it all you got. Play it hard and play it smart. It counts. To late for regrets. Learn and move on. There still is time just not as much. Every minute counts. No more saving my best moves or my best party dress. This is it. Another saying comes to mind "This is not a dress rehearsal"
For years I never really gave it a thought. I saved the pretty stationary, the good dishes. I saved the hobbies to when I had more time. Never realizing how precious time really is. I put alot of things first that should of been last. I was saving the best for last but this is life not a piece of cake. You know, I was taking care of this or that first so then I could to do what I really wanted to do.
Sad thing is I still do it. Lately I almost resent the things that steal my time and energy. I know I am no different than the next guy. We all have things to do and really I don't mind but there just doesn't seem to be enough of me to go around.
I would rather spend a day with Cassidy than have the most beautiful weed free garden. I would rather spend two hours scrap booking then cleaning the house. I would rather spend the day with my sister shopping than doing the laundry. I would rather spend the evening with my husband, kids and dog creating memories. Maybe because this is truly who I am. Sitting around the bonfire in my old jeans, a over sized sweatshirt and yes, even old underwear!, eating off a paper plates and drinking out of plastic cups. Laughing, smiles ear to ear. The fire warming our bodies and the love warming our hearts. Their eyes shinning as the fire dances. This is what I want them to remember. These are the times I want them to look back on. This is the me I want them to remember.
Jesus, help me to remember that some of the "Things" I am saving for last don't really mean anything. It doesn't matter if I wear the party dress, or we use the Good Dishes. What matters are the things of the heart. Lead me, guide me, speak to me. My prayer for you is that you will realize how quickly times passes by before it passes you by. I pray that you will find what really brings you joy and take the time to enjoy it. I pray that you use the good dishes, wear the party dress or donate them to someone who will. God made each one of us different. We really do have a destiney to fulfill. How we each do this is as different as we are. I just know when I come face to face with Jesus I want him to say "You gave what you had." I just don't think He will say something like wow, you sure could clean a toilet! or I loved the way you tackled the cow webs in your house...amazing. I mean you never know, but I doubt it.......

It's been so long

It's been so long since I wrote on this blog. I miss it but summer has had me busy. I always look forward to fall because it means more time for me to do the things I really love. Read, write and scrapbook. I enjoy the quiet and peaceful evenings. I feel more grounded during the fall and winter months.
Now is my time. I turned 51 this September. Still in shock. How can I be 51 when my mind is still stuck at 30? Maybe even younger. Maybe it's because we are who we are. Sure, we can tune it up a bit and thank God we can overcome past hurts. We can learn from our mistakes. We can change the way we wear our hair and learn to like things we never thought we would. Yet, that inner person, our soul remains the same. I am the same inside as I was at one, five, 25 and yes 51. I can't change who God made me to be, no more than I can change someone else. Somethings just are. It's a good place to be. I like the Beve' that God created. I am not disappointed. I like my gifts, my talent and my sense of humor. I like the way I love, the way I care and the way God has given me the gift as a caregiver. It's when I try to be someone I am not that I am not happy. I am not comfortable in my own skin. This doesn't mean I don't have things I need to change. I need to quit worrying about the housework and the yard. I need to let the laundry pile up sometimes. It means that I have to make time for Prayer everyday, quit smoking and start eating healthy. I need to exercise and live within my budget. There is plenty of things I need to start doing or do more often or even do less but I don't have to change who I am. In fact many of these changes would help me be more of who I am.
It took me many years to accept myself and yes, even celebrate who I am. My prayer for you today is that you will see who you are. Think of the things that you always seem to pull toward. The things you do find time for. Think of the ways you bring joy to others. You have a gift, you have a strength. It's what God created you for. We have a job to do on this earth. We have something to give to those who are put in our daily path. You are needed. Just look up to the Son, and smile. He will help you and guide you. He will send his angels and saints to carry you on your journey.

Orkut Scraps - Halloween Scraps

2009-09-16

Click here to view these pictures larger

They can take the Fireworks out of the City but not out of my blog.

Grab a chair, turn off the lights, turn up the sound, put it on full screen. My gift to you. Happy 4th of July.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xx7aPbt2TRI

Keeping the faith

Keeping the faith while everything around you is falling apart. So much easier said then done. "I will pray for you" we often say or you need to trust in Jesus, he'll take care of you. Today, I remember the words(not perfectly) but something like what ever you do for the lease of my brothers you do unto me. I think of Jesus teaching the crowds that where hungry for answers. They wanted to be healed, they wanted him to answer their prayers and he said when you feed, cloth, love others you are feeding me, clothing me and loving me. I think we miss the true message. Yes, pray for others needs but then roll up your sleeves and get to business and help Jesus to help those who need help. He will provide for you as you provide for others.
Often we want to save the world but we over look the ones that are right under our own noses. Those that are in our own flock. We judge our giving by their behavior. Jesus did things for others out of love, he brings people to him with love. We live in a world that is into "tough love" and sometimes we have to use that kind of love. Yet, I wonder if gentle commitment doesn't say more. If Jesus turned his back on us every time we sinned, or withheld his help when we are living a life that is not Godly, I fear that nobody would want that kind of "savior." He comes to us where we are. He spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well, who had seven husbands in a gentle way. I could almost see him smile at her. To me he was saying, I know everything about you and I still want to give you the Water of Life. He didn't say, hey clean up your act sister and then I'll help you. No, He offered her a gift that would give her the strength to change her life. He told her to go and sin no more, he knew she wouldn't walk away and never, ever make another mistake. He knew she would need that Living Water everyday of her life. He preached on how to live our lives day in and day out. We need the Bible and the words he taught like a daily dose of medicine. We also need his graces to love those who are caught up in the world, with all of it's sin and trials. We need His heart to help those that are less capable of grasping his words.
I like many do not want to give up my time or my money to those that I judge as less deserving because they have not reached the level that I feel they should be at. I can only believe that I am living the words of Jesus. "Love one another, as I have loved you." I can only trust that the seeds I plant will survive in the weeds of their life. I can only hope that my help will maybe make it alittle easier for someone to start picking the weeds out of their lives by lessening some of their burdens.
Maybe my thinking is all wrong. I don't know. Maybe, I am blinded by a heart filled with compassion and love. Maybe, I am misunderstanding the message of the Gospel but
I trust that the Holy Spirit is leading me. Until I hear differently from Jesus, I am going to try as best as I can "to love others, as He has and does love me.
May the peace and love of Jesus guide us all.

My Mom's Favorite Prayer

In Loving Memory
Viola B. Keel
9/28/28 to 6/30/08
Rest in Peace Mom

UNFAILING PRAYER TO ST. ANTHONY


THIS PRAYER IS PART OF THE CONFIDENCE PRAYER AND IS ALSO KNOWN AS THE SHORT NOVENA PRAYER:
IT IS PROBABLY THE MOST LOVED OF ALL PRAYERS TO ST. ANTHONY

"Blessed be God in His Angels and in His Saints"

O Holy St. Anthony, gentlest of Saints, thy love for God and Charity for His creatures, made thee worthy, when on earth, to possess miraculous powers. Encouraged by this thought, I implore thee to obtain for me (request). O gentle and loving St. Anthony, whose heart was ever full of human sympathy, whisper my petition into the ears of the sweet Infant Jesus, Who didst love to be folded in thine arms; and the gratitude of my heart will ever be thine. Amen.