Welcome

Every morning after my coffee I sort of put the house back together. Today, just like most days I try to fix up our couch. Every morning as I gaze at it and think to myself how does it get so messed up. It just has such a disheveled look. Poor thing. In couch years, if there is such a thing, this couch is not that old. I guess age has nothing to do with it. I feel like how my couch looks allot of days. A little worn. A little disheveled. Almost every morning I wake up and decide that today I am going to stand tall, I am going to take what the day has to offer. I am not going to let the happenings of the day mess me up. No, I am determine. I will stay firm. I’m going to stick with the plan. The day starts and like my couch I start to sag a little. My cover of good intentions starts to slip. Some days I don't even see it happening. I mean well, really I do but old habits are so comfortable, so inviting. Some days they don't look half bad. Maybe because they’re not all bad. Just like my couch. It may not be perfect but it's not bad. It's got a lot of good years left in it. I hope. It's dependable and it's foundation is strong. I’m not going to throw it all away just because it has it's minor faults. I will continue to rearrange it. Tuck in the cover a little here and a little there. Straighten the pillows. Then I will let it go. I've spent way to much of my life trying to fix it up. To make myself into someone that I am not. I didn't see who I was. I didn’t pursuit my dreams. I didn’t have the time because I was so busy searching, trying to change. I was looking for something and I almost missed what was here all along. It was such a waste of time. I almost over looked my gifts. I never saw how many people did care for me. How much I am loved for who I am and in this constant search I gave my heart to others but I always held back a little. That happens I think when your not living in the now. You miss an awful lot. The hug doesn't quite feel so good, the kiss not so true, the words I love you not so meaningful. It's like your always looking over your shoulder and instead of straight ahead. When the work of life is more important than living your life it’s time to stop. I think tomorrow I'll leave my couch alone and give us both a break!