April 13th, 2025

It has been 11 years since I wrote anything on the blog. I just got involved in the day to day events. So much has happened since that last post. Way to much to write about and I would rather go forward then behind. 

I started to live in a different season in my life. Pat and I raised Cassidy for almost 14 years. Chris and his wife separated about four years ago and Chris came to live with us. He and Cassidy have become a family again. I can't say it's been easy but it is good. They live in our house and Pat and I are renting an apartment near our camper. (We did buy a camper in 2017, so Cassidy could enjoy the outdoors.) We keep our camper in a seasonal spot. We've met the nicest people and they have become like family for us. Sadly, Cassidy has outgrown the desire to be with us at the camper. Maybe that will change but for now this is her decision and we respect it. She is with her dad and that is so important. They have grown in their relationship and much to my surprise do well without me. People ask does that hurt you and my answer is "No." This is what I have hoped for. This is natural. I needed to see this because I am at the age that needs peace knowing they're able to take care of themselves when I am no longer able to or in my permanent home....heaven.

So Pat and open a new chapter in our lives. It's been about nine months since we moved here. I love it. It's in the country but close enough to get to the things we like and need. Friends stop over and we socialize often with them. 

I am only a phone call away if Chris and Cassidy need me. Cassidy is happy to have a Nana now. Not a Nana/Mom. Our relationship has also entered in to a new season. We talk now. FaceTime is a daily event and Goodnight, I love you closes the end of the day for us.

So here I am. Kinda alone for the first time in forever. 

I spend a lot of time crafting....I have a Her Cave. 

I don't know where this is going but I hope I can start blogging again....even if nobody ever see's it.

July 14, 2014

It has been a long time since I blogged. Not sure as to where this is going. I asked Jesus this morning what is my talent? What did Our Father have in mind for me as I was knitted in my mother's womb? I heard blog. Now I know that Jesus did not blog but maybe he is asking me to write. So hear I go. Maybe this was me speaking to me.....only time will tell.
This morning Boundaries is on my mind. I have never had healthy boundaries. I have been pretty much a wide open door or maybe like a swinging door. I have let everyone and everything in. Not all bad but tiring at times!
I am not even to good at setting boundaries for myself. Work has to come first, family and even shopping. I put off me time. I have to get everything else done before I can do something for me. Which doesn't happen to often because there is always something that needs to be done.
Some people seems to know how to balance their life. They don't get the guilties. I was raised that you are the last one. Everything comes before you. Right now I am eating lunch (3:46 pm) while I blog. Then clean the bathroom, sweep dog hair, plant a plant and then take a shower. I want to paint but could I live with myself for being so selfish. After all I don't work outside of the home now. Granddaughter is not here.....and the list goes on and on. Pathetic. I hear that knowing is half the battle. 

My mind is once again racing with worry. I know that God is with me.
This morning during prayer I could visualize me running into the arms of God. Crying. I could see Him holding me. Stroking my hair as I sobbed in His arms. I could see me looking into His eyes as I sat in His lap. I could hear Him say "Now, Now it's going to be okay. "Daddy is here" as He wiped my tears. "I am here I am not going to let anything bad happen to you" as He held me a little tighter. "Better now, I am here to help you fight those monsters. Don't be afraid"
"I am a Father to the Fatherless."

God you know that I needed this not just today but always. To be a little girl. To be a daughter. To have a Father who comforts. A Father who strokes my hair and wipes my tears. I could hear you today as you said "Show me your smile" as I shook my head yes, tears still fresh on my cheeks. This is who you are. A Father, simple and loving. Thank you as you kiss the top of my head. You know that is how I feel loved. 

I love you Daddy.

Santa Claus is Coming to Town....

We took our granddaughter to Pat's Union Christmas Party yesterday. We have been taking Cassidy every year since she was born. This year was the first year that she really get's that Santa Claus is real and she is a excited four year old. The innocence in her face glows like an Angel.
Santa and Mrs. Claus walked in and Cassidy started doing the little jumping up and down thing that she does when she is excited. She started that as soon as she could stand up. Her arms wave up and down to a song she must hear in her head. It's precious. It's so girly.
I was kneeling down right next to her, so I could watch her expressions up close and personal. I don't want to miss a thing. She stopped jumping up and down and put her tiny little arm around me and whispered “He's kinda old?” she had a serious look on her face and her eyes said “Do you think he can do it? Do you think he's going to be able to deliver all of those toys”?
A child can see it. They can see beyond the face and into the eyes. They can see when something is wrong, when something is missing.
We have known Santa and Mrs. Claus for years. Santa knew Pat by name. They had a relationship but Santa didn't recognize him yesterday. Santa's eyes had that look. The look of bewilderment. The look of lost dreams. Cassidy saw it. She knew. Children see these things. They see deep down into our souls. She might not understand what it is but she felt it.
Pat placed her unto Santa's lap and she told him she wanted a YOYO and other stuff. Then his eyes smiled and He said “I haven't had the request in years....a YOYO...you want a YOYO? I watched his aged hands as he motioned up and down as if he had a YOYO is his hands. He was Santa again. The Santa we knew the Santa we love.
“Thank you Jesus for the glimpse of our old friend. Thank you for the moment. Thank you for showing me how precious a moment can be. At that moment as he smiled and spoke it was if time stood still. I understood what it meant to be in the moment. Nothing else matter. Nothing else was on my mind. There was nothing to rush to get to. I know that you call us to see life this way. You know we can't do it every minute but you want us to see the gifts that you give us in our daily life. I am reminded of the Gospel when the Children wanted to spend time with you and the Apostles tried to tell them that you where busy....to busy for the children. I can almost see you, hear you as you whispered “Send them here, let the children come to me...the kingdom of belongs to children like this” I can see your eyes as they soften as a child climbed on to your lab. I can see how time stood still, the busyness stopped. I can see you smile as you talked to them. I saw you yesterday in Santa's smile looking down on my granddaughter. I saw your love. I saw your joy.”
It is my hope that you and I can stop during this busy time of Christmas and be in the moment. To see with our hearts the love that Jesus has for us. To recognize Him in those around us. To look for moments that are gifts. Time goes by so quickly. These days will be lost before we know it. Now is the time...not next week, not next year, not when the work is done, or when we retire.....what's important doesn't cost money, doesn't require any special arrangements...it is right in front of us....in the eyes and hearts of those around us. Let time stand still now.

Time

Dec 3, 2011

I use to have the cleanest house, the neatest yard. I was on top of things. It's not like that anymore. A clean house use to define me. It was what I thought made me important. It was what I was all about. How sad that is to me now. I would joke that on my tombstone there would be a duster and the words "She knew how to clean". I don't want to be remembered like that now. I want to be remembered as a person who knew how to laugh. How to love. Who made time for others. How I still battle with what I should be doing and what I want to be doing. The should's are: Clean the bathroom, make sure the laundry basket is empty. What will people think of me if they stop over and see dust and papers laying around or dishes in the sink. Sometimes people say to me " You must have a lot of time on your hands" when they see a card I've created. I think "no", I don't have anymore time then you, I make the time. Even if I have to run myself rag-it because I want to do it all. I took pride in my ability to clean like no other and felt it was a compliment, that it made me stand out from all the rest. I am sure now that it made other people uncomfortable to be in my presence. To have me in their home. Although I never cared about how their home looked, they probably didn't know it.
As I am getting older I have a internal fight with Mrs. Clean and who I am now. I don't enjoy it anymore. It's a chore. It takes up my time that I would much rather be doing something else. Something with my creativity. I love to creative cards and paper crafts. It is a passion. I spend time looking at graphics I can use on the computer. I look at other people's creations. Then I squeeze time in to create. It's on my mind all of the time. If I only had the time. I work part time now. We are empty nesters. I have time but I cloud it up with stuff. Cleaning, shopping and looking up graphics on the computer. I think someday I'll have the time. Maybe Wednesday when I get done with the cleaning. Maybe Friday after I do the shopping. Maybe on Monday, after work, after dinner, after the dishes, after, after....Then it's bed time. Well maybe tomorrow.....
There is a small voice inside of me that tell's me to write. Write about my everyday happenings. Just the day to day things that go on in all of our lives. I like to take an event, relate it to a lesson that I I need to learn or someone else can learn from.I like to take things that give us all something to think about. I like to include Jesus in what I am writing about. People say that I am good at it. If I only had the time!
Today I decided that the time is now. That I will give this a chance. I will write. I will post my writings on my blog again. Like I use to. It always made me feel good. To write something. "Jesus, if this is my purpose I only ask that you guide my thoughts". I know I need to read your word more so I can tie it together. I know that it means less searching and more time doing. More time making my cards and more time writing. This is my passion. I have been doing these two things since I was a little girl. They saved me from all of the pain that was going on around me and inside of me. I would draw with crayons. I would create little projects. I would write on what ever I could find. Poems and I kept a journal for years. I would dream of the day that I would be able to have a computer and have all of the things that I needed to create. I have all of those things now. I have more than I could ever use. I have a craft room now with a computer in it. I have been blessed.
Jesus, you have given me everything I need to fulfill my purpose and now you are giving me the Okay to pursuit it. Help me as I sit here and type the words out that are always in my head. Help me to see my everyday happenings and how they relate to you. Teach me though the words and thoughts that I put in this computer. Help me go get beyond the should's that I carry like a suitcase. Remind me often that's it's okay that I did terrible in spelling and English. Remind me that I have thoughts that need to be written for my sake and maybe for someone else's. That it's okay not be perfect. That it's okay for my writing to be a little messy, a little out of place. Just like it's okay for my house to be a little messy. I look forward to our journey".

Unclog a drain

This is my husbands favorite. The first time I did this he was amazed. "Where did you learn how to do this?' I really don't remember. Here's the tip. This works if you have a clogged drain or a drain that is running slow. Boil water, I usually do one or two tea kettles full. While that is boiling I pour white vinegar into the drain. About a cup and a half. I follow up right away with a couple good shakes of baking soda. It will get bubbly. Let it sit for a while. Then when it starts to go down pour the boiling water down the drain. Sometimes I pour another kettle of boiling water. If the drain is still clogged do it again. If this doesn't work then it is time to call a professional. Often times it will work. Do not mix any other chemicals because I am sure that could cause a reaction that could be dangerous. It is worth a try.

The Rich get Richer

I recently started clipping and using coupons. I'm not sure how I got started. I think maybe while I was looking for Catholic sites. I noticed that often one site leads me to another and then another....I can spend hours just searching. When I was tested in High School for what type of career best suited me, I was told I should go into research. I believe it. I have researched just about anything that interests me. I am self taught and can say I have a little knowledge about allot of different things. So the Internet was a dream come true!
Anyway, back to coupons. I recently read that the average income of the person who uses coupons is about $90,000.00. I read it twice. That's crazy! People who really need extra money don't and won't take the time to clip coupons.
I am a very frugal person. I don't like paying people to do things that I can do myself. Therefore, I have taught myself to do allot of things. I shop at thrift shops and have been known to take something off of someones front lawn the night before garage day. I color my own hair, do my own nails, toenails and get haircuts at Best Cuts.
I will be starting something new on this blog. I will blog on deals and some how to do somethings that I have learned along the way.
Stay tuned for more.

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Christmas Countdown

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBZiPRPogn0

I tried to create this on my Apple but no one could view it. I guess I have to create on Windows. Anyway, I know that I misspelled quiet...sorry and probably more words at that. I am not very good at spelling or grammar. I just like to write. I hope that my simple attempts at writing will help you to focus on Jesus. That is my only desire. Leave any comments. There will be updates daily until Christmas. Love Bev

My favorite girl..